Wednesday
Apr042012

Overcoming Fear
Lady on Phone- “My 15 year old son is extremely frightened of dogs... I’d like to know if you have a strategy for helping him overcome his fear”.
My Brain bubbles.... long pause...Has he ever been bitten by a dog or had a bad experience with a dog? (No)... Are you afraid of dogs? (No)...How often is he around dogs (almost never)...and it dawns on me, this young man’s mind has obviously created a story about being afraid of dogs, yet he’s never had any REALexperiences with them....
My strategy was to create a new story that took place in a safe and intimate setting...to create a positive association with dogs.
My Response - I’ve never done a session like this before, but I think your son would benefit tremendously if he learned about calming signals. I explained that dogs are in state of constant communication with everything in their environment. I further explained that their signals are a lot like a 3rd base coach in baseball... every one can see what he’s doing, but few understand what they mean.
Once your son can read these signals, I’ll teach him how to use them to keep himself safe... I went on to explain that all creatures, with the exception of humans, do not inherently seek out conflict... they wish to avoid it! But, I appreciate that it’s not easy to spot this when you’re visiting a friend and suddenly their fearful and yippy little fluff ball greets you at the door with screachy barking and scratchy nails.
Our First Session - I invite my young student and his mom to my daycare and greet them in the foyer. We stand and watch the ‘Shloof Room’ through a window, observing a small pack of 3 carefully selected dogs.
Jesse - “Do you notice that all the dogs noticed you from the instant you walked in? Do you see that no none of the dogs is looking another dog directly in the eye? They have positioned themselves to avoid eye contact. Yet, they’re aware of everything in the environment. Do you notice that when you stare at a dog through this window he’ll either blink, yawn or look away from you?”

First lesson... When you maintain direct eye contact with an animal you’re actually sending a message of assertiveness. A more exaggerated form of this manifests when you approach an animal in a straight line. One example of this in human nature occurs is when you get caught staring at a stranger. Your first instinct is to pretend you’re not looking (subconsciously you’re communicating that you mean no harm). Another example is to think about the motion of a fox stealing eggs from a nest (direct approach = potential conflict!). Dogs that mean no harm will go to extreme measures to avoid direct eye contact with you.
The takeaway... The compassionate way to meet a new dog is to show him that you respect his world. If you must approach it, do so in an arc (avoiding a direct line)....always be aware of where the dog is and what he’s doing, but avoid eye contact.
Second lesson... A dog’s primary sense is his nose. If humans smell in black and white then dogs smell in millions of colours. This is important to understand because anytime you enter an environment with a dog present, he’ll want to scope you out with his nose. From a simple sniff I joke that a dog can tell that you had apples for lunch... that you walked through the ravine... he can also detect chemical changes in your body representing a surge in fearful emotions.
The takeaway... When you enter a dog’s environment he may decide to approach you and touch you with his nose. The wise approach is to allow this to happen, yet be mindful not to react to it. If you can do this then you can peacefully coexist in any dog’s environment.
Two Weeks Later...Fast forward only two weeks and my young student has made astounding progress. His courage in overcoming his fear is remarkable! Every session we begin by reviewing the two key principles in theory, then we spend the rest of the time practicing them in action. I push him just a little out of his comfort zone each time... first it was meeting one or two super friendly dogs, then it was meeting 25 different dogs with varying temperaments (one at a time), then it was hand feeding a select few and practicing basic obedience commands, finally it was surrounding himself in a pack of 20 dogs off leash.
I quickly worked to earn the trust of my young student then asked him to have complete faith that I would guard his safety. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined such a transformation in only two weeks!
My strategy was to create a new story that took place in a safe and intimate setting...to create a positive association with dogs.
My Response - I’ve never done a session like this before, but I think your son would benefit tremendously if he learned about calming signals. I explained that dogs are in state of constant communication with everything in their environment. I further explained that their signals are a lot like a 3rd base coach in baseball... every one can see what he’s doing, but few understand what they mean.
Once your son can read these signals, I’ll teach him how to use them to keep himself safe... I went on to explain that all creatures, with the exception of humans, do not inherently seek out conflict... they wish to avoid it! But, I appreciate that it’s not easy to spot this when you’re visiting a friend and suddenly their fearful and yippy little fluff ball greets you at the door with screachy barking and scratchy nails.
Our First Session - I invite my young student and his mom to my daycare and greet them in the foyer. We stand and watch the ‘Shloof Room’ through a window, observing a small pack of 3 carefully selected dogs.
Jesse - “Do you notice that all the dogs noticed you from the instant you walked in? Do you see that no none of the dogs is looking another dog directly in the eye? They have positioned themselves to avoid eye contact. Yet, they’re aware of everything in the environment. Do you notice that when you stare at a dog through this window he’ll either blink, yawn or look away from you?”

First lesson... When you maintain direct eye contact with an animal you’re actually sending a message of assertiveness. A more exaggerated form of this manifests when you approach an animal in a straight line. One example of this in human nature occurs is when you get caught staring at a stranger. Your first instinct is to pretend you’re not looking (subconsciously you’re communicating that you mean no harm). Another example is to think about the motion of a fox stealing eggs from a nest (direct approach = potential conflict!). Dogs that mean no harm will go to extreme measures to avoid direct eye contact with you.
The takeaway... The compassionate way to meet a new dog is to show him that you respect his world. If you must approach it, do so in an arc (avoiding a direct line)....always be aware of where the dog is and what he’s doing, but avoid eye contact.
Second lesson... A dog’s primary sense is his nose. If humans smell in black and white then dogs smell in millions of colours. This is important to understand because anytime you enter an environment with a dog present, he’ll want to scope you out with his nose. From a simple sniff I joke that a dog can tell that you had apples for lunch... that you walked through the ravine... he can also detect chemical changes in your body representing a surge in fearful emotions.
The takeaway... When you enter a dog’s environment he may decide to approach you and touch you with his nose. The wise approach is to allow this to happen, yet be mindful not to react to it. If you can do this then you can peacefully coexist in any dog’s environment.
Two Weeks Later...Fast forward only two weeks and my young student has made astounding progress. His courage in overcoming his fear is remarkable! Every session we begin by reviewing the two key principles in theory, then we spend the rest of the time practicing them in action. I push him just a little out of his comfort zone each time... first it was meeting one or two super friendly dogs, then it was meeting 25 different dogs with varying temperaments (one at a time), then it was hand feeding a select few and practicing basic obedience commands, finally it was surrounding himself in a pack of 20 dogs off leash.
I quickly worked to earn the trust of my young student then asked him to have complete faith that I would guard his safety. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined such a transformation in only two weeks!
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